37th post. My life. My views. I'm Straight Edge.

So, this one has been a long time in the making.

My views.

This is in all honesty going to be one gigantic cluster. Bare with me.

I live my life clean. I do not smoke anything. I do not drink. I do not do any sort of mind altering drugs. I do not have promiscuous sex. I am what is Straight Edge. Straight Edge has a few definitions. But every single one includes No smoking, No promiscuous sex, and no drugs. Some more hardcore Straight Edge kids ( Often abbreviated sXe) Are also vegan, do not consume caffeine and do not believe in any sort of masochism(Self harm, going as far as no piercings, and no tattoos). I'm not quite that hardcore. (Those of you who actually know me know I have my lip pierced). But I do strongly STRONGLY believe in living a clean and sober life. I do have some bad family history with substances. It's not my place to talk about it. But the history is there and it does create a bias within my opinion. But, that alone is not why I'm sXe. It's not the "YOU WILL DIE FROM DRUGS!" speeches from back in school. The true reason I am Straight Edge is for me. Not for you. Not for your mother. No one but myself. You know that old sang "The body is a temple"? I fully believe that. And I don't want to be someone who destroys and corrupts their temple. I like mine to be pure. I like my body and soul to be clean.

A common thing people don't understand about Straight Edge is everyone thinks it's a trend. It's a lifestyle. It's something that social rejects follow. But the thing is that's not what Straight Edge is. Ian Mackaye who is one of the founders of the Straight Edge movement has said it best. "It's not a fucking lifestyle. like partying. that's a fucking lifestyle. Like getting high. That's a fucking lifestyle." He's right. Straight Edge is just being clean. choosing mind altering substances is a lifestyle that others choose. Not me. I've heard a lot of people throw around the term "Close minded" when it comes to being sXe. And I don't understand it. How is being clean and true to my soul cause me to be close minded? When you don't know how to live live without the use of alcohol or smoking something or putting some shit into your body? Because it makes you "feel good"? I think if you don't know how to make yourself feel good then you have a massive amount of self discovery. For me, "Feeling good" Comes from simplicity's of life. When I kiss my girlfriend that makes me feel good. When I lay down to go to bed and my cat crawls up on my chest and purrs, that makes me feel good. When I buy a new video game that makes me feel good. When I listen to music that makes me want to jump around and scream my heart out, that makes me feel good. And you know what, not a single one of those things involves mind altering substances. I don't have to grow a fucking plant and smoke it to "Feel good" I don't have to put a god damn needle in my arm to "feel good". I don't Have to drink alcohol and get so messed up I don't remember the entire night to "feel good". Some of the absolute best times I've ever had in my life has simply been standing around telling stories and joking and laughing with my friends. And none of us ever required any alcohol or drugs to make us feel good. No the only thing we needed to feel good was the smile on our faces. That was all. All I'm attempting is to make a point.

All I wish to do is Explain to you, whoever the reader may be, that there are ways to live clean I'm sure I'm going to strongly upset some friends and family alike with this post. But, It's my blog you're reading. This is all my opinion. By no means am I saying that I am better than you and no I'm not trying to offend anyone. This is all my opinion. And Truth be told. I'm the only sXe individual out of all my friends. It's sucks. I have a lot of friends who drink a lot. and quite a few who smoke pot. Truth of it all is I feel alone. Yes I have friends a lot of them. I love them dearly. But when they decide to drink and smoke I have no one. This isn't some emo depressive cry for help or something. I've gotten long past to deal with this. I have a close friend who does drugs and they know there really isn't anything I hate more. And I know they care, but it won't stop them. It sucks. And hurts. But it's truly something I will have to deal with. I haven't decided if I'm going to publicly post this blog or let whoever may stumble upon it stumble. But this is my heart and soul poured into a blog. These are my beliefs and they stand stronger than anything in my head.

If you actually read this through, thank you. Even if I don't know who you are, you know me better than a lot of people out there. just by this a lone. Thank you.